Five Quick and Easy Recommendations for Career Woman
By Inga C. Ellzey,
Author of The Exchange
1. Know how to shake hands. Your grip must be firm and you must make eye contract. Smile and squeeze. Human contact is the first step in initiating a relationship.
2. Determine what you and/or your services are worth right from the start. Don’t sell yourself cheap at the beginning just to get some business. If you or your product are too cheap, you won’t attract the best customers. I had the same price for the first several years, which was significantly higher than my more experienced “competition.” Why? Because I positioned myself to have a superior product. My brand is “high quality, top-notch, and professional service.” That doesn’t come cheap….neither did I.
3. Be consistent. Consistency is vital to success. You’ll get a higher response rate from your contacts, and a significantly higher number of return customers, if you are consistent in your ethics, personality, work quality, and relationships. Stability is a mainstay of success.
4. Learn to listen, pay attention, and look around. If you don’t spend your time pontificating about you and your product, but instead take time to listen to your prospective client and study their office, you’ll glean lots of invaluable information that will give you the edge over your competitors. Remember, there’s plenty of time to make the deal after you have established a personal connection. Find out if that person is a numbers person who wants more facts than fluff? Do they like birds? Do they hate doing business with individuals who are late? You’ll be surprised at all the advantages you can obtain during a meeting if you stop talking and engage your client in conversation. Then use that information to establish a relationship. If they love birds, send a thank you note which includes the latest copy of the Audubon Society’s Magazine. If they seemed proud of the fact that they just ran the 10K Marathon for their local charity, make a small donation to that charity on their behalf. Business is about relationships first. The deal always comes second.
5. Follow-up and follow through. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver. Don’t sell what you can produce. Make commitments only if you absolutely, without fail, can make good on your promise(s). And if for some reason, you can’t make the deadline or can’t deliver what you promised, let your customer know as soon as possible. Don’t lie. Be honest and give them an option. S - - T happens and everyone knows that. But your response to the crisis is what will determine if you get a second chance with the person with whom you are doing business. Here’s my little pearl of wisdom on screwing up. Tell the person you are dealing with exactly what happened and then ask them what they want you to do to make it right. In 99% of the cases, the client will ask for reasonable concessions or sometimes nothing at all…just because you gave them the opportunity to decide the next step. And if most cases, you won’t loose them as a client.
My final chard of advice is about positioning yourself for success. You can be successful only if you do what you love; if you have a passion for your job, product, skill, or service. Never make it about the money. If your key motivation in a business venture is getting rich, most likely you won’t get there. But if you have passion for whatever it is you are trying to achieve, one of two things will happen, you will either become rich doing what you love, or you won’t get rich but won’t care because you love what you are doing.
So all of you ladies out there, young or old, educated or just street smart, I am here to tell you that you can make it on your own. Lift your head up high, shoulders straight, feet planted firmly, and think positively. You just have to believe in your self and follow a little advice from some other women who’ve made it. After all, as I said from the start, “It’s better on top!”
©2008 Inga Ellzey
Author Bio
Inga Ellzey is a self-made multi-millionaire, the owner and president of the Inga Ellzey Practice Group, Inc. She is a leading authority on medical billing, and has written, taught and lectured extensively over the past two decades. The Exchange was written in Yorkshire, England, where she was inspired by the solitude of the remote countryside and the 16th century farmhouse she vacationed in. For Inga Ellzey, The Exchange is yet another dream come true. She lives in Winter Park, Florida.
Please visit www.theexchangenovel.com
Showing posts with label Inga C Ellzey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inga C Ellzey. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Counsel from a successful self-made woman: It’s better on top
Counsel from a successful self-made woman: It’s better on top
By Inga C. Ellzey,
Author of The Exchange
I am a self-made multi-millionairess. (I love that “ess” part.) I own three national companies, have over 100 employees…mostly women, and just finished my first suspense romance novel at the age of 59. I feel I am an intelligent, well educated, articulate woman with a good sense of self and humor. I am not particularly pretty but I am interesting looking (what that really means is that I don’t mind a little nipping and tucking here and there. Screw that aging graceful nonsense when there are over 8500 dermatologists out there just waiting for the phone to ring.)
I also seem to have a unique voice as people recognize my voice before they recognize me. That just made me think…perhaps I should look into that voice-over profession. I hear those people make loads of money. But money isn’t everything…or is it?
OK, let me tell you the facts. Money makes it easier to make more money, but you can still make plenty of money without having a penny when you start. That’s how I did it. I went from the bedroom to the bank without any financial help from anyone. No SBA loans, no ghost investors, no sugar daddy’s. (Well, I did have a sugar daddy once, but he didn’t help me with my businesses…he just helped me get an education. That’s another story all together.) My advice is still the same as it was back then, “It’s better on top.”
So how do you make it to the top? My ammunition for success has always been guts, tenacity, and the willingness to takes risk and accepts failure as an inevitable component of the road to success. Remember it’s a road, not a bullet train.
I made my money in a male-dominated profession…not just any profession, but one filled with Caucasian men between the ages of 35 – 60, and highly educated. I made my money working with doctors. Here I was a single mom working with individuals at the top of the food chain. That didn’t scare me one bit. It just made the game all that more interesting. I just needed to stack my deck of cards differently and pretend that I was an expert and willing to go “all-in” without hesitation. “Fake it ‘til you make it” has always worked great for me.
I remember my first big deal. In order for me to achieve some of my business goals, I needed to find a business partner; not a partner I worked for…just did business with. That’s an important distinction. Try to avoid partners if at all possible. My plan was to get in with a major pharmaceutical company. I had this great idea that no one had ever thought of before. But as a single Mom, I didn’t have the cash to pull it off. So I needed to find someone with deep pockets. Through some research (and that was in the days before the Internet), I found the name and phone number of the Vice President of a major international pharmaceutical company. I lived in Orlando and the company headquarters were in North Carolina. Through some creative pitching (that’s the term for convincing someone you have something they want), I was offered an appointment the following Tuesday. Tuesday was four days and 1400 miles away. I certainly didn’t have money for airfare, so driving was my only option. I had some fancy business cards and a great personality…nothing else. I certainly wasn’t a big enough entity to make a deal with a major company, was I?
Well, I decided to act like I was bigger than I was. So I hired a friend of mine to join me on my big interview. She was beautiful. I bought her a nice dress, accessorized her with some of my vintage jewelry, shined her scuffed high heels and gave her a pen and a pad of yellow-lined paper. Her job was to look and act as if she was my secretary and take a lot of notes. By the way, that’s not being deceitful, that’s smart marketing. Remember, it’s all about the packaging.
What I did next I believe is the smartest thing that someone trying to make it should always keep in mind. Sell yourself first, then your product. A good salesman can sell a bad product, but a bad salesman can’t sell a good one. So I sold myself. By that I don’t mean I conducted business horizontally under an executive desk. I made friends with my prospective investor by telling him about me, my goals, and my enthusiasm for my industry (and, of course, my brilliant idea). For me it wasn’t difficult because I am a very outgoing, positive, full-of-life and fun kind of gal. I am not ashamed of anything I have done in my life. I have no secrets. I’m just a human being who has had successes and failures, has faults and attributes, and who wants to make life better for myself and those around me. I never lie and I am honest to a fault.
So let me tell you about myself quickly. I have been married three times and have been in a mental hospital once for six weeks (something about Noah needing help getting all those animals on the Ark). Just kidding! The truth is I had a nervous breakdown after my first divorce. I once tried to seduce one of my college professors to get a passing grade in a course I needed to graduate from college. (That was a no-go and I scraped by that class with a D.) I got my first dildo at the age of 50 (between my second and third husbands). It was a gift from some girlfriends for my 50th birthday. It was purple and had two double A batteries. I recall buying lots of batteries that year. I married my second husband when he was 19 and I was 39. I was a mistress to a married man for sixteen years, and I have had liposuction three times. My next procedure is scheduled in two months. Why diet when you can just eat and suck?” OK, so now you know that I am not afraid to share. Don’t you like me better already? Don’t I seem more real? In short, you probably relate to me more now than you did at the beginning of my article. So, do you get the point? Be yourself. Make a friend. Create a relationship.
In short (well I guess that wasn’t so short), I got the VP from the pharmaceutical company to like me (and my product which was great), and I walked away with a $14,000.00 order. (In 1970 that was almost enough for me to live one for one year.) Mr. VP and I did business for another ten years, and that relationship allowed me to make my first million dollars. No husband to pay my way. No alimony checks to subsidize my career building. No trust fund backup. No inheritance. I make it all on my own! And boy did that feel great. It still feels great.
Selling yourself first is the key element in successful negotiations. People will do business with someone they like - even if someone else has a product that’s better. Why? Because work has to be not only profitable, but enjoyable, too. So always sell yourself first. Here are some other Ingots from Inga.
Order wine with lunch.
No I don’t mean that you must be a lush to succeed in business. My point here is to do the unexpected. Dare to be different. Take calculated risks. If everyone is ordering bottled water…Yuk), then everyone is on the same level at the power lunch. If you are the only one ordering that taboo lunch wine, then all eyes are on you. And guess what? Now you have everyone’s attention. Start off with a few comments about German wine and your trips down the Rhine River sampling wine from the various hillside vineyards. Haven’t done that, been there? Then talk about your kids. How do you segway from wine to kids? Duh! How many of you every got pregnant without alcohol? I have two kids. One is a boy, 38, (I guess I should say man) that I had when I was 21, and I also have a girl that I adopted from Romania when she was 12 and I was 50. I was 50 when I refilled my empty nest. Alcohol definitely must’ve been involved in that decision. But I love her. She beautiful, spoiled, insanely talented, and has added new dimension to my life. Most people I do business with know all about me and my kids. (So do you now.) They have a relationship with me and me with them. That’s the foundation of good business.
Remember, whether it’s a power lunch, cocktails and dinner, or a conference call, you must engage the person first by forging a relationship that makes them believe in you as a person with integrity…someone they like. The deal comes later, but only if you have established that foundation of trust and respect.
So I have a colorful past, order wine at lunch, and talk about the kids. What else has contributed to my success? What about strategic planning, paradigms or performas? Did I have formal business plans that included budgets and cost benefit analyses? Nope. Never have, never will. My approach to business has always been more spontaneous and my deals were almost always sealed with a firm hand shake, not a corporate seal. Here are some of the other things that set me apart from the rest of the herd.
Screw the business suit and black panty hose
I have never in my life owned a business suit or a blazer. I did buy black panty hose once but almost had a heart attack trying to get into those control top jobs. By the time I got the control top past my hips all circulation in my brain had been cut off and I thought I was going to faint. I couldn’t very well be successful if I was brain injured so I just said, “Bulge baby bulge!” (Now of course there are those brilliant Spanx. God Bless Sara Blakely!)
My wardrobe was made up of tops, sweaters, pants (no pant suits…just as bad a business suits!), dresses and skirts. I mixed and matched and matched and mixed. I love accessorizing. I mostly get my jewelry at thrift stores and flea markets. I largely buy vintage pieces from the 40s and 50s. They are flashy and make a statement….just like me. I am flashy and make a statement. People always remember me. Part of that also stems from my name, Inga. Having a different name really makes a difference. So if you have a common name, change it for purposes of your business. When Oprah started out in business they told her to change her name because they said no one would remember her name. She refused and well….you know the rest. Then there’s Reese, Demi, Falista…I think you get the idea. Don’t afraid to be different and stand out from the crowd. Fitting in means not being noticed. I would rather fail after being noticed, then fail because no one noticed me at all.
Next piece of advice, “Never consider your self a woman in a man’s world.” I never played that record in my head. My mantra was more, “What do I need to do, have, or create in order to achieve a particular goal?” I don’t care what the competition does or who the competition is (male or female). My philosophy has always been, “I am the competition.” Act like a winner, believe in your skills and talents, and then go for it.
©2008 Inga Ellzey
Author Bio
Inga Ellzey is a self-made multi-millionaire, the owner and president of the Inga Ellzey Practice Group, Inc. She is a leading authority on medical billing, and has written, taught and lectured extensively over the past two decades. The Exchange was written in Yorkshire, England, where she was inspired by the solitude of the remote countryside and the 16th century farmhouse she vacationed in. For Inga Ellzey, The Exchange is yet another dream come true. She lives in Winter Park, Florida.
Please visit www.theexchangenovel.com
By Inga C. Ellzey,
Author of The Exchange
I am a self-made multi-millionairess. (I love that “ess” part.) I own three national companies, have over 100 employees…mostly women, and just finished my first suspense romance novel at the age of 59. I feel I am an intelligent, well educated, articulate woman with a good sense of self and humor. I am not particularly pretty but I am interesting looking (what that really means is that I don’t mind a little nipping and tucking here and there. Screw that aging graceful nonsense when there are over 8500 dermatologists out there just waiting for the phone to ring.)
I also seem to have a unique voice as people recognize my voice before they recognize me. That just made me think…perhaps I should look into that voice-over profession. I hear those people make loads of money. But money isn’t everything…or is it?
OK, let me tell you the facts. Money makes it easier to make more money, but you can still make plenty of money without having a penny when you start. That’s how I did it. I went from the bedroom to the bank without any financial help from anyone. No SBA loans, no ghost investors, no sugar daddy’s. (Well, I did have a sugar daddy once, but he didn’t help me with my businesses…he just helped me get an education. That’s another story all together.) My advice is still the same as it was back then, “It’s better on top.”
So how do you make it to the top? My ammunition for success has always been guts, tenacity, and the willingness to takes risk and accepts failure as an inevitable component of the road to success. Remember it’s a road, not a bullet train.
I made my money in a male-dominated profession…not just any profession, but one filled with Caucasian men between the ages of 35 – 60, and highly educated. I made my money working with doctors. Here I was a single mom working with individuals at the top of the food chain. That didn’t scare me one bit. It just made the game all that more interesting. I just needed to stack my deck of cards differently and pretend that I was an expert and willing to go “all-in” without hesitation. “Fake it ‘til you make it” has always worked great for me.
I remember my first big deal. In order for me to achieve some of my business goals, I needed to find a business partner; not a partner I worked for…just did business with. That’s an important distinction. Try to avoid partners if at all possible. My plan was to get in with a major pharmaceutical company. I had this great idea that no one had ever thought of before. But as a single Mom, I didn’t have the cash to pull it off. So I needed to find someone with deep pockets. Through some research (and that was in the days before the Internet), I found the name and phone number of the Vice President of a major international pharmaceutical company. I lived in Orlando and the company headquarters were in North Carolina. Through some creative pitching (that’s the term for convincing someone you have something they want), I was offered an appointment the following Tuesday. Tuesday was four days and 1400 miles away. I certainly didn’t have money for airfare, so driving was my only option. I had some fancy business cards and a great personality…nothing else. I certainly wasn’t a big enough entity to make a deal with a major company, was I?
Well, I decided to act like I was bigger than I was. So I hired a friend of mine to join me on my big interview. She was beautiful. I bought her a nice dress, accessorized her with some of my vintage jewelry, shined her scuffed high heels and gave her a pen and a pad of yellow-lined paper. Her job was to look and act as if she was my secretary and take a lot of notes. By the way, that’s not being deceitful, that’s smart marketing. Remember, it’s all about the packaging.
What I did next I believe is the smartest thing that someone trying to make it should always keep in mind. Sell yourself first, then your product. A good salesman can sell a bad product, but a bad salesman can’t sell a good one. So I sold myself. By that I don’t mean I conducted business horizontally under an executive desk. I made friends with my prospective investor by telling him about me, my goals, and my enthusiasm for my industry (and, of course, my brilliant idea). For me it wasn’t difficult because I am a very outgoing, positive, full-of-life and fun kind of gal. I am not ashamed of anything I have done in my life. I have no secrets. I’m just a human being who has had successes and failures, has faults and attributes, and who wants to make life better for myself and those around me. I never lie and I am honest to a fault.
So let me tell you about myself quickly. I have been married three times and have been in a mental hospital once for six weeks (something about Noah needing help getting all those animals on the Ark). Just kidding! The truth is I had a nervous breakdown after my first divorce. I once tried to seduce one of my college professors to get a passing grade in a course I needed to graduate from college. (That was a no-go and I scraped by that class with a D.) I got my first dildo at the age of 50 (between my second and third husbands). It was a gift from some girlfriends for my 50th birthday. It was purple and had two double A batteries. I recall buying lots of batteries that year. I married my second husband when he was 19 and I was 39. I was a mistress to a married man for sixteen years, and I have had liposuction three times. My next procedure is scheduled in two months. Why diet when you can just eat and suck?” OK, so now you know that I am not afraid to share. Don’t you like me better already? Don’t I seem more real? In short, you probably relate to me more now than you did at the beginning of my article. So, do you get the point? Be yourself. Make a friend. Create a relationship.
In short (well I guess that wasn’t so short), I got the VP from the pharmaceutical company to like me (and my product which was great), and I walked away with a $14,000.00 order. (In 1970 that was almost enough for me to live one for one year.) Mr. VP and I did business for another ten years, and that relationship allowed me to make my first million dollars. No husband to pay my way. No alimony checks to subsidize my career building. No trust fund backup. No inheritance. I make it all on my own! And boy did that feel great. It still feels great.
Selling yourself first is the key element in successful negotiations. People will do business with someone they like - even if someone else has a product that’s better. Why? Because work has to be not only profitable, but enjoyable, too. So always sell yourself first. Here are some other Ingots from Inga.
Order wine with lunch.
No I don’t mean that you must be a lush to succeed in business. My point here is to do the unexpected. Dare to be different. Take calculated risks. If everyone is ordering bottled water…Yuk), then everyone is on the same level at the power lunch. If you are the only one ordering that taboo lunch wine, then all eyes are on you. And guess what? Now you have everyone’s attention. Start off with a few comments about German wine and your trips down the Rhine River sampling wine from the various hillside vineyards. Haven’t done that, been there? Then talk about your kids. How do you segway from wine to kids? Duh! How many of you every got pregnant without alcohol? I have two kids. One is a boy, 38, (I guess I should say man) that I had when I was 21, and I also have a girl that I adopted from Romania when she was 12 and I was 50. I was 50 when I refilled my empty nest. Alcohol definitely must’ve been involved in that decision. But I love her. She beautiful, spoiled, insanely talented, and has added new dimension to my life. Most people I do business with know all about me and my kids. (So do you now.) They have a relationship with me and me with them. That’s the foundation of good business.
Remember, whether it’s a power lunch, cocktails and dinner, or a conference call, you must engage the person first by forging a relationship that makes them believe in you as a person with integrity…someone they like. The deal comes later, but only if you have established that foundation of trust and respect.
So I have a colorful past, order wine at lunch, and talk about the kids. What else has contributed to my success? What about strategic planning, paradigms or performas? Did I have formal business plans that included budgets and cost benefit analyses? Nope. Never have, never will. My approach to business has always been more spontaneous and my deals were almost always sealed with a firm hand shake, not a corporate seal. Here are some of the other things that set me apart from the rest of the herd.
Screw the business suit and black panty hose
I have never in my life owned a business suit or a blazer. I did buy black panty hose once but almost had a heart attack trying to get into those control top jobs. By the time I got the control top past my hips all circulation in my brain had been cut off and I thought I was going to faint. I couldn’t very well be successful if I was brain injured so I just said, “Bulge baby bulge!” (Now of course there are those brilliant Spanx. God Bless Sara Blakely!)
My wardrobe was made up of tops, sweaters, pants (no pant suits…just as bad a business suits!), dresses and skirts. I mixed and matched and matched and mixed. I love accessorizing. I mostly get my jewelry at thrift stores and flea markets. I largely buy vintage pieces from the 40s and 50s. They are flashy and make a statement….just like me. I am flashy and make a statement. People always remember me. Part of that also stems from my name, Inga. Having a different name really makes a difference. So if you have a common name, change it for purposes of your business. When Oprah started out in business they told her to change her name because they said no one would remember her name. She refused and well….you know the rest. Then there’s Reese, Demi, Falista…I think you get the idea. Don’t afraid to be different and stand out from the crowd. Fitting in means not being noticed. I would rather fail after being noticed, then fail because no one noticed me at all.
Next piece of advice, “Never consider your self a woman in a man’s world.” I never played that record in my head. My mantra was more, “What do I need to do, have, or create in order to achieve a particular goal?” I don’t care what the competition does or who the competition is (male or female). My philosophy has always been, “I am the competition.” Act like a winner, believe in your skills and talents, and then go for it.
©2008 Inga Ellzey
Author Bio
Inga Ellzey is a self-made multi-millionaire, the owner and president of the Inga Ellzey Practice Group, Inc. She is a leading authority on medical billing, and has written, taught and lectured extensively over the past two decades. The Exchange was written in Yorkshire, England, where she was inspired by the solitude of the remote countryside and the 16th century farmhouse she vacationed in. For Inga Ellzey, The Exchange is yet another dream come true. She lives in Winter Park, Florida.
Please visit www.theexchangenovel.com
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Confessions of a Former Mistress By Inga C. Ellzey
Confessions of a Former Mistress
By Inga C. Ellzey,
Author of The Exchange
For 16 years I was the mistress of a married man. I was single, he was rich. I wanted to be someone. He was a doctor. I was a single mom. He had three kids and a Nanny. I wanted romance and passion. He was horny. His wife was the turkey. I was the gravy. I was, "The Other Woman."
Being a mistress is exciting . . . at first. Romantic trysts in clandestine restaurants. Lunch quickies. Having sex on the operating table (not that comfortable) or on the exam room floor (oh my aching back).
I was young when I met Adam (not his real name). I was 27, wore a size 8, had gorgeous long blond hair, beautiful teeth and a great personality. He was 43, with a sexy foreign accent . . . and he was a doctor . . . my doctor. That's how it all started. There was an instant attraction. He scheduled office visits more frequently. I became the last patient of the day. Then I got healed by the good doctor, but fell in love (and he with me). We started an affair that lasted sixteen years.
So here I was the mistress to a married man. Sixteen years you ask me? How is that possible? Didn’t the wife suspect?
Well, in most cases when the affair goes beyond a couple of wooly bully romps in the hay, and extends over many months (or years, as in my case), the wife knows. The wife either knows flat out but doesn't care, knows but is in denial, or really doesn't suspect a thing (which is highly unlikely in a long-term situation.) She might be so busy with the soccer Mom thing she really has no idea that her hubby is scoring somewhere else.
In my case the wife knew. She knew I knew she knew and I knew she knew I knew. She knew! But she didn't care . . . as long as Adam came home to her (most nights) and allowed her kids to attend the best private schools. As long as she could live in her million dollar house, have her Mexican house keeper and Nicaraguan Nanny, drive her gas guzzling Mercedes, wear her Haute Couture clothes, and keep her fancy horses in those snazzy stables . . . she just focused on those versus her husband's wandering ways.
I was even invited to their house on numerous occasions. I recall one time when they invited me to their beach house for the week end. (Figure that one out?!?!) I was on the beach with Adam making love while she was in the condo making Flan. Boy that Flan was delicious. I still think of her when I order Flan in restaurants.
Then there was this heart attack thingy. Well what happened really was that every Sunday night he would come to my apartment. We would have wild sex, a couple glasses of wine, and then he would leave. Well this one particular Sunday night he went home and had this major heart attack. You know the 9-1-1 call, no breathing, he's gonna- die-kind of heart attack. Well, wouldn't you know it but right after he made her call 9-1-1 he made her call me. She knew I knew she knew and I knew she knew I knew! Enough said.
So what are the benefits of being, "The Other Woman?"
Well it depends on how smart you are. Here's what I got along the way. I got my Bachelor's and Master's Degrees paid by him. I had to do the studying. He paid the tuition and expenses of a college education. So I got my B.S. (Bachelor in Sex) and my MPA (Masters in Pleasing Adam). No seriously, I did get legitimate college degrees.
I got spending money to buy clothes and shoes. He helped me get a nice car every few years and he paid off my credit cards when I overspent (when I did frequently). After all wifey over there was living in some fancy-dancy mansion while I was living with the Dumb and Dumbers on the left and right side of me in an apartment complex.
And then did I mention the life insurance policy? Now it's not like I want him to die or anything, after all the affair was over 21 years ago. But if he dies, I still get $100,000.00 . . . tax free.
Well you see when I was his mistress, I agonized about him leaving me (especially after that heart attack stresser), so I made him take out life insurance on himself with me being not only the beneficiary of the policy but (me being college "edicated" and all), I insisted I became of owner of the policy as well. (Thanks to that finance class he paid for.) Being owner of the policy means I have to make the payments on the life insurance annually, but I don't care. As long as I pay, he can't cancel it. I still get $100,000.00 tax free when he dies . . . even 21 years after the affair ended. Let's see how old is he now . . . ?
So what are the disadvantages of being a mistress?
Oh, there are those lonely holidays. But it's really not that bad when you have those credit cards which you know he will pay off if you overspend. Then there's reading about him and her in the local newspaper attending some charity ball. He has his arm around her, she's smiling. The happy couple. Pillars of the community. Until Sunday night!
Marriage? You know in sixteen years, marriage was never addressed. I guess I thought he would leave her eventually. If I was honest with myself I knew he never would. Come on, sixteen years? Duh?
So here I am . . . 21 years later reminiscing about that affair. Don't tell my present husband. My third (he's only 35 and I'm, 59 . . . I never was good in math). At any rate, my current hubby wouldn't like it much if I mentioned dear Adam.
So in conclusion, here's my advice. If you are going to be a mistress:
1. Enjoy it for what it is . . . an affair.
2. Don't be afraid to take gifts and monetary remuneration. It's not immoral. It's only fair.
3. Don't expect a marriage proposal. (Most men that are unfaithful will always be unfaithful . . . so who wants to be married to an unfaithful man? Better to just screw him and have fund . . . I mean fun.)
4. Be prepared for lonely nights and fun shopping sprees.
5. Never make life all about him. When it's over . . . it's over. Move on. There's always another Adam just around the corner.
©2008 Inga Ellzey
Author Bio
Inga Ellzey is a self-made multi-millionaire, the owner and president of the Inga Ellzey Practice Group, Inc. She is a leading authority on medical billing, and has written, taught and lectured extensively over the past two decades. The Exchange was written in Yorkshire, England, where she was inspired by the solitude of the remote countryside and the 16th century farmhouse she vacationed in. For Inga Ellzey, The Exchange is yet another dream come true. She lives in Winter Park, Florida.
Please visit www.theexchangenovel.com
By Inga C. Ellzey,
Author of The Exchange
For 16 years I was the mistress of a married man. I was single, he was rich. I wanted to be someone. He was a doctor. I was a single mom. He had three kids and a Nanny. I wanted romance and passion. He was horny. His wife was the turkey. I was the gravy. I was, "The Other Woman."
Being a mistress is exciting . . . at first. Romantic trysts in clandestine restaurants. Lunch quickies. Having sex on the operating table (not that comfortable) or on the exam room floor (oh my aching back).
I was young when I met Adam (not his real name). I was 27, wore a size 8, had gorgeous long blond hair, beautiful teeth and a great personality. He was 43, with a sexy foreign accent . . . and he was a doctor . . . my doctor. That's how it all started. There was an instant attraction. He scheduled office visits more frequently. I became the last patient of the day. Then I got healed by the good doctor, but fell in love (and he with me). We started an affair that lasted sixteen years.
So here I was the mistress to a married man. Sixteen years you ask me? How is that possible? Didn’t the wife suspect?
Well, in most cases when the affair goes beyond a couple of wooly bully romps in the hay, and extends over many months (or years, as in my case), the wife knows. The wife either knows flat out but doesn't care, knows but is in denial, or really doesn't suspect a thing (which is highly unlikely in a long-term situation.) She might be so busy with the soccer Mom thing she really has no idea that her hubby is scoring somewhere else.
In my case the wife knew. She knew I knew she knew and I knew she knew I knew. She knew! But she didn't care . . . as long as Adam came home to her (most nights) and allowed her kids to attend the best private schools. As long as she could live in her million dollar house, have her Mexican house keeper and Nicaraguan Nanny, drive her gas guzzling Mercedes, wear her Haute Couture clothes, and keep her fancy horses in those snazzy stables . . . she just focused on those versus her husband's wandering ways.
I was even invited to their house on numerous occasions. I recall one time when they invited me to their beach house for the week end. (Figure that one out?!?!) I was on the beach with Adam making love while she was in the condo making Flan. Boy that Flan was delicious. I still think of her when I order Flan in restaurants.
Then there was this heart attack thingy. Well what happened really was that every Sunday night he would come to my apartment. We would have wild sex, a couple glasses of wine, and then he would leave. Well this one particular Sunday night he went home and had this major heart attack. You know the 9-1-1 call, no breathing, he's gonna- die-kind of heart attack. Well, wouldn't you know it but right after he made her call 9-1-1 he made her call me. She knew I knew she knew and I knew she knew I knew! Enough said.
So what are the benefits of being, "The Other Woman?"
Well it depends on how smart you are. Here's what I got along the way. I got my Bachelor's and Master's Degrees paid by him. I had to do the studying. He paid the tuition and expenses of a college education. So I got my B.S. (Bachelor in Sex) and my MPA (Masters in Pleasing Adam). No seriously, I did get legitimate college degrees.
I got spending money to buy clothes and shoes. He helped me get a nice car every few years and he paid off my credit cards when I overspent (when I did frequently). After all wifey over there was living in some fancy-dancy mansion while I was living with the Dumb and Dumbers on the left and right side of me in an apartment complex.
And then did I mention the life insurance policy? Now it's not like I want him to die or anything, after all the affair was over 21 years ago. But if he dies, I still get $100,000.00 . . . tax free.
Well you see when I was his mistress, I agonized about him leaving me (especially after that heart attack stresser), so I made him take out life insurance on himself with me being not only the beneficiary of the policy but (me being college "edicated" and all), I insisted I became of owner of the policy as well. (Thanks to that finance class he paid for.) Being owner of the policy means I have to make the payments on the life insurance annually, but I don't care. As long as I pay, he can't cancel it. I still get $100,000.00 tax free when he dies . . . even 21 years after the affair ended. Let's see how old is he now . . . ?
So what are the disadvantages of being a mistress?
Oh, there are those lonely holidays. But it's really not that bad when you have those credit cards which you know he will pay off if you overspend. Then there's reading about him and her in the local newspaper attending some charity ball. He has his arm around her, she's smiling. The happy couple. Pillars of the community. Until Sunday night!
Marriage? You know in sixteen years, marriage was never addressed. I guess I thought he would leave her eventually. If I was honest with myself I knew he never would. Come on, sixteen years? Duh?
So here I am . . . 21 years later reminiscing about that affair. Don't tell my present husband. My third (he's only 35 and I'm, 59 . . . I never was good in math). At any rate, my current hubby wouldn't like it much if I mentioned dear Adam.
So in conclusion, here's my advice. If you are going to be a mistress:
1. Enjoy it for what it is . . . an affair.
2. Don't be afraid to take gifts and monetary remuneration. It's not immoral. It's only fair.
3. Don't expect a marriage proposal. (Most men that are unfaithful will always be unfaithful . . . so who wants to be married to an unfaithful man? Better to just screw him and have fund . . . I mean fun.)
4. Be prepared for lonely nights and fun shopping sprees.
5. Never make life all about him. When it's over . . . it's over. Move on. There's always another Adam just around the corner.
©2008 Inga Ellzey
Author Bio
Inga Ellzey is a self-made multi-millionaire, the owner and president of the Inga Ellzey Practice Group, Inc. She is a leading authority on medical billing, and has written, taught and lectured extensively over the past two decades. The Exchange was written in Yorkshire, England, where she was inspired by the solitude of the remote countryside and the 16th century farmhouse she vacationed in. For Inga Ellzey, The Exchange is yet another dream come true. She lives in Winter Park, Florida.
Please visit www.theexchangenovel.com
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Exchange by Inga C. Ellzey
Jewelle Dawson has been running from the mob for seven years. She has been a member of the Witness Protection Program, but she yearns for her freedom. Jewelle wants her life back and intends to get it, despite the pleas of the contrary from her Witness Protection officer, John Murray. Knowing the mob still wants her dead, she throws caution to the wind and books a one month long cruise of the Mediterranean.
Jewelle is filled with happiness as she meets a variety of fellow cruisers including a famous author, a new best friend, and two very sexy men. She is completely torn apart as both men vie for her attention. As both men wine and dine her, she is also treated to the beautiful sights of the Mediterranean. Then, her world comes crashing down on her as the Gambrelini crime family tracks her down and plans to kill her once and for all. Jewelle is scared to death that, not only will her life end, but she has now put her new friends’ lives in danger as well.
This book grabbed me from page one. I could not put it down. It has everything – the right amount of mystery, suspense and romance all rolled up into one exciting book. A real page-turner!
I immediately fell in love with each character. They were crafted realistically and each had their own personality that readers will feel come right through each page. Each character became my friend and I already miss them. Fortunately, there will be a sequel and I can re-visit my old friends.
The sequel, The Foundation, is due out in early 2009. I, for one, cannot wait to get my hands on it!
To find out more about this book, go to the author’s website at http://www.theexchangenovel.com/index.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)